Formula 1 cars represent the very limits of modern motorsports technology and are, without question, the sexiest rides on the planet. It's too bad the 2010 Formula 1 championship could end up being a total fraud. I pray I won't be able to say that about drag racing come Sunday night.
We're not very sophisticated in our sport. Our teams pretty much work around the same basic engine and chassis designs that have been in service for three-plus decades. F1 could easily be compared to black ops, while NHRA is basically the Freedom of Information Act. Every NHRA team knows exactly what every other team has under the hood. Seriously, and I mean this with no disrespect to the talented tuners and crewmen in the pits who do incredible things with what they have to work with, we're Neanderthals compared to our Formula 1 brethren. More nitro Org!
Fortunately, NHRA has a chance this weekend to rise above those lab-coat-wearing F1 snobs and decide our champions the old fashioned way -- on the racetrack. The choice is in the hands of the competitors and team owners. Let's hope they all make the right decisions on race day.
For all their incredible gizmos and massive amounts of money they spend -- an average single-car F1 team has a budget larger than NHRA's total gross revenue -- it appears their championship could be decided by team orders.
It was during Lap 49 of the F1 event in Hockenheim, Germany, when runaway race leader Felipe Massa was told over the radio by his race engineer, "Fernando (Alonso, who was in second place) is faster than you. Can you confirm you understand the message?" Let me translate that for you in case you don't follow F1. "Felipe, pull your shiny Ferrari over so your teammate can win the race and earn more points."
Scuderia Ferrari was fined $100,000 for violating Article 39.1 of the Sporting Regulations -- "Team orders which interfere with a race result" and Article 151(c) of the FIA's International Sporting Code, which forbids "any fraudulent conduct or any act prejudicial to the interests of any competition or to the interests of motorsports generally" -- but I don't know anyone who thinks a $100,000 fine for a team with a rumored budget of $400 million is much of a deterrent.
Now here we are at the end of the F1 season and Alonso, who gladly took that trophy in Germany, finds himself eight points in the lead with only this weekend's race left on the schedule. The difference between finishing first and second at an F1 race is seven points, so Ferrari can now proudly say they purchased Alonso's current cushion at a fairly good price.
By the way, Mark Webber and Sebastian Vettel are second and third in the points, respectively, and they both race for the rival Red Bull team, which publically said orders will not be issued no matter the circumstances. That's not just hyperbole; they've proven it on the track this year.
Now I ask you, knowing you probably don't care much about F1, who would you like to see win the championship? How would you feel if Alonso wins by less than seven points knowing he got the free pass in Germany?
Yeah, I thought so. Me too.
So here we are at the 46th annual Auto Club NHRA Finals, thrilled at the prospect of a double, throw-down cage match between Matt Hagan and John Force for the coveted Funny Car title. Either man would make for a great champion. Hagan is a second-year, up-and-comer who tends cattle during the week. Force is NHRA's biggest star and most prolific racer ever, trying at age 61 to win his 15th championship. Both are likeable. Both are great racers.
And let's not forget, both have teammates.
I hereby call out to the racing gods to give us an elimination ladder where the three drivers of John Force Racing have to race the three men from Don Schumacher Racing heads-up, rendering my darker thoughts moot. It would be a tragedy of epic proportions if Force or Hagan face their teammates Sunday and we witness "mysterious" engine malfunctions, drivers jumping the start, or the ever-dreaded ventures "out of the groove" that end up in tire smoke.
Laying down for a teammate in drag racing is hard to prove. Engines do malfunction, drivers do red light, tires lose traction. It's not as obvious as "Felipe, pull over." Still, we all kind of know what happened. Even cavemen figured out fire.
We have to rely on the participants to do the right thing, which is race the person in the other lane to the very best of your abilities, regardless of who that opponent may be.
You cannot tell me any scenario where letting a teammate win is the right thing to do. It cheats the fans, it belittles the other racers, and it severely taints the championship to the point where the driver who wins it all should be ashamed to take the hardware and call themselves the ultimate winner.
And don't give me that jibber-jabber about the sponsors deserving it either. If your relationship with your sponsor is that tenuous, they probably aren't going to be around long anyway.
We have a chance to show the world how we do things over here. I implore John Force and Don Schumacher to show how advanced we really are in this sport and let the championship be decided as it should be. Please don't let us down now.
And while I have the ear of the racing gods, can you arrange for Alonso's car to blow a motor with one lap to go.
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